This section of our website will help you clear the dysfunctional relational patterns you bring to your intimate relationships from your family-of-origin. In order to help you experience more intimacy in your relationships, we offer you our best advice and our practical love-atory-tested tools and skills.
Here you can also learn how to use relational crises involving betrayal, divorce, intractable conflicts, addictions and other life-altering experiences as wake-up calls and as opportunities for changing your life and becoming more conscious.
Our approach emphasizes the importance of conscious, committed, intimate relationships as the primary resource for healing childhood wounds and modifying the relational template you learned in your family-of-origin. The earliest experiences of intimacy begin with our parents, particularly our mothers. These experiences create a template or pattern that we use to create all other intimate relationshipsour relationships as a coupled partner, as a parent, as a sibling, as a co-worker and employee and as a part of community.
We discovered that modifying our relational template requires two things. The first is an understanding of what optimal parenting experiences should be like, and the kind of person that comes from this kind of family background. The second is recognizing the less-than-optimal parenting that you actually got in your family-of-origin, and how this has impacted your development and your life. Once you have this information, you learn how to close the gap between the optimal parenting you wished for and the less-than-optimal parenting that you actually got.
This journey of self-reflection and self-correction typically involves looking at codependency and counterdependency issues, learning how to resolve intimate conflicts, creating sustainability in intimate relationships, breaking patterns of addiction, dysfunction and victim consciousness, clearing developmental trauma, and protecting yourself from con artists.